Living a Real Life

The forest is still and quiet. The giant trees stand like stately pillars holding up the roof of green. Among them there is no sign of movement. What light penetrates the heavy canopy of cedar and hemlock is soft like that just before the night. What animals are out there are quietly feeding or resting protected from the rain.

It was raining for a long time before the water began to reach the dry soil. We knew it was raining because we could hear it high above. The rain is beginning to penetrate the forest roof and drop gently on our roof. Gentle rain on a roof can be a soothing sound and lull one to sleep.

I made myself a giant cup of tea. As I looked out at the idyllic scene I began to slip into almost a trance-state while my mind was flooded with thoughts, ideas and passing philosophical questions - not the tough 'what is life?' type of question but the soft 'how am I so lucky to be enjoying this time?' type of question. Such is the philosophical enquiry of a rainy day deep in the wilderness away from the torments of so-called civilization. How could one not be overcome with awe of the gentleness of such great power? How could one not want to be here able to contemplate such beauty and grace? How could one not ask whether they are actually experiencing life as it was really meant to be?

Such a question does not ignore the dangers and frequent hardships of wilderness life. Surviving the winter, for example, is a danger and a hardship. Staying warm and having sufficient food dominates the thoughts and actions of all those spending the winter in the wilderness.

In the wilderness survival is a way of life, a way of behaving, the way of nature. Survival isn't a concept or philosophical hypothesis to be considered. It is a matter of living life. Actually it is a matter of living an uninhibited life, a full life, that is ultimately beneficial to all of nature.

We know that there must be predators. Some predators will die from accidents and some even from the failure to kill food, but their life in unimpeded by a fear of that reality. If a sufficient number of predators don't kill a sufficient number of ungulates the ungulates will over-graze causing plant loss and failure which will effect the flow and clarity of the water, etc., etc., with the end result of a dying ecosystem. Perhaps the best known study that proved this reality was in Yellowstone National Park where all of the wolves had been killed. There was a period in National Park Service history where they thought that they should kill all predators. Yellowstone began dying. It was literally saved by the re-introduction of wolves into the habitat. After the re-introduction streams improved, trees returned, meadows became healthy, and the ungulates as well as the predators had sufficient food.

Real life . . . a good life . . . isn't determined by death. We will hear people say at an old person's funeral that 'they had a full life.' Living a long time does not automatic translate into a good, happy or full life. I have known many people who have suffered greatly to an old age. One could not call their life good, happy or full. Just long. I have known people who have died young but who had died doing something they loved and were happy with their life. I look at myself and realize that there is a third group - viz. those who live into old age and are still experiencing a good, full and happy life. Occasionally I say to Pamela, "pinch me". I need to confirm that this isn't a dream.

I shudder at the word 'civilization' because the mere definition of the word assumes a false superiority of the crowded, artificial city over the rural or wilderness. I would challenge the idea that civilization is the 'real world', but I realize that, for perhaps a majority of people, it would be a fruitless effort to engage in such an argument. In modern society we have been taught that the city, 'civilization', etc., is not only real but superior and necessary. I can not tell you how many people I hear who have fallen in love with the wilderness yet speak of the necessity of returning to 'reality' or 'civilization.' They speak that way because they have been raised to believe that is a true statement. The only truth is that much of humanity must suffer incarceration in cities and densely populated areas because we are like the ungulates who have overpopulated and over-grazed the land because there are no predators.

Nature has perfected itself over billions of years of experience. We know that nature has the ability to recover and adapt. There are many, including many scientists and religious people, who believe that nature will recover and adapt to the destruction by the homo sapiens. It will start by eliminating homo sapiens.

The idea that humans really know better than nature and/or can improve upon nature is beyond absurd. Actually such a belief has proven to be exceptionally destructive. In reality, were it not for our horribly destructive behavior, humans would be a very insignificant part of nature. At this point in earth history we serve absolutely no positive or beneficial purpose. Even the lowly house fly serves a far greater purpose than humans. A cancer cell serves no beneficial purpose to the body but can mean the death of the body. Our bodies fight to remove the cancer cell. The only salvation from the cancer is to kill it.

I do not believe that we were destined to be what we are and I'm not going to bother arguing my case for this belief. I do believe that Dr. Yusal Noah Harari was correct when he said that humans would have quickly become extinct if they had remained the insignificant species of primates in northeastern Africa. He went on to talk about our ability to convince large groups of 'fictitious reality' as the means of our success. But that's a thesis in its own merit. I do believe that by exhibiting basic survival nature; viz. moving into new areas in search of food and shelter, and learning to adapt; we grew into what we are today. However, I do not believe that survival necessitated us purposely alienating ourselves from the nature which sustains us and losing our natural survival skills.

As I look at the forest I feel a sense of oneness. I feel in tune with the deer, bear and other animals I encounter. The other day we stood almost to toe-to-toe with a bear. He wanted to go by us to find food in the campground. We weren't going to let him. I was very respectful of his power and his ability to kill me and so I carried my bear spray. At the same time, looking into the bear's face I did not see anger or animosity. He was attempting to understand and analyze my behavior in the same way as I was trying to understand and analyze his. I never took my safety off my spray. He decided to try to go around me and we met on the other side of the tree.

Human superiority complex would have me believe that I intimidated him, causing him to leave. I knew that I was standing in front of him for his own safety. If he had been successful in passing me and finding human food in the campground it would have been his death warrant. I didn't want him to die that way. I didn't want him to die from being struck by a car. I wanted him to go back across the road and live the good life of a free and healthy bear. Could he understand that? Probably not in the way we think of understanding.

The young bear, moose, deer or any other animal which must be abandoned or run off by their own mothers for their own survival and the survival of the species probably do not understand that behavior in the way a human would explain understanding, but they accept and soon adapt.

In comparison to life in the city of a person with sufficient resources, I'm sure our wilderness life seems quite harsh and uninviting. They live in large areas that are cooled in heat and heated in the cold. There is a wasteful over-abundance of food, total lack of concern to conserve water and no concern for fuels. Only those known as the "haves" would argue the superiority of the heavily populated areas. The poor among the humans is the poorest of the poor in nature. The member of the herd who is not able to care for themselves and/or contribute to the survival of the herd will probably end up as food for a predator but not because the greed of one or more members of the herd. Greed is a human condition. Granted the strongest in the herd will get to breed more and be the first one to eat and eat its fill, but it won't hoard resources. It isn't greed. Many species will actually attempt to protect the weakest as long as possible. Our behavior as a species is definitely not superior to other animals, but I don't want to get started talking about human behavior. The point is, that while there are those who have the resources to enjoy the comforts of the city, that doesn't make the city either more comfortable or safer or more desirable. If one would research the ancestry of people now living in places like Glacier's North Fork, where there are no public utilities and they resist the blacktopping of the one road into the area, I believe you would find that they are the children of people who escaped the city to survive and in favor of a simpler life with the essentials of life.

While those who have the resources to enjoy the comforts of the city will; despite its restrictions, bad air and totally artificial facade; still argue its superiority, no one can argue that such a caged and limited life is our true nature. One can only deny that we are animals that have tried so hard to divest ourselves of our true identity that we are fubar.

It is possible to live in harmony with our true nature but it isn't easy. The only reason that it isn't easy is because we have become so conditioned, so habituated to what we have been taught are comforts that we must re-learn what was once instinctual. At one point in our human history, as an omnivore, we would have been similar to our brother bear. It seems that there is a chemical group called epigenes attached to DNA that may well be chemical memory that can be passed from generation to generation. Since scientists have found the epigene in humans and we are structurally almost identical to other mammals, I am going to assume that bears and other animals also have epigenes. Have we lost the epigene that helped us find our way to a salt-lick or food source? When I was in school in Dublin in the early 1970s there were some English scientists who were doing research to support their hypothesis that humans, at one time, had the navigational skills of other species. The greatest pianist will lose her ability to play if she goes for an extended period of time without playing a piano. The greatest pitcher or football player will lose their skills after a period of not playing no matter how great they originally were. For some time I ran 40-50 mile trail runs. To get so that running all day long was natural and comfortable I ran an average of 80 miles or more a week. After a couple of years I was more comfortable running than walking. When I came to the Rocky Mountains I learned that trail runners are known as 'fast food for mountain lions.' I stopped running 80 miles a week. I can still run but it is no longer more comfortable and I definitely can not do it all day long. As a species I believe that we have learned the hard way that if you don't use it you lose it.

If we accept and work to understand how we have been conditioned to believe that we are not natural animals, we can purposely re-learn skills long ago lost. I believe that I have some fairly good skills for living in the mountains and I am attempting to hone those skills and learn new ones. But I am not sure how long I would live if I were just to walk away into the woods. My intestines are elongated so that I do not have the ability to deal with spoiled food as do other species. I no longer have the epigene information, or whatever, that enables other species to find edible plants or safely traverse mountain passes in search of food and shelter.

Sitting here looking out at the forest I feel drawn. If I were not painfully aware of how much I still have to learn before I could ever consider returning to the nature that beckons me, I would gladly give so-called civilization . . . society . . . the finger and return to my true nature.

The rain has stopped. Watching life around me breathe in the freshness of the rain I can almost hear it give a sigh of contentment. Life has flourished for another day. Undoubtedly there were those who did not survive today but they did not die in vain. They were not sealed in boxes to keep them from being mingled with Mother Earth. Their bodies provide nutrients for the soil and likely food for others. Those who survive have grown and learned and will pass along their knowledge to the next generation. Other species do not want to suffer and do not want to die, but their lives are not tormented by the fear of death. They live with every ounce of their being, neither contemplating their death nor whether there is some sort of life after death.

We are a part of the nature and life of this magnificent planet. I feel so sad that so many people do not understand this or do not choose to believe it. As I gaze at any wilderness area; whether the heavily forested Pacific northwest, the badlands, the swamps of Florida, the great plains or desert; I see life and find peace. I want to walk into it and become whole again. But I realize that I can not do that. I must content myself with living close to the wilderness, spending as much time as possible in the wilderness trying to learn what my species has forgotten, doing my best to protect the nature I love, and endeavoring with my whole being to lead others to love, cherish, protect and live in peace with their true nature.