George returns to give comfort

'Tilla with her new buddy, George

It is not at all uncommon for a child to have a favorite doll or stuffed animal.  From around the world, in all cultures, and throughout the ages you will find images of children clutching a rag doll, corn husk doll, plush animal or other comfort creature.  We think nothing of a child with a plush animal, but how about an adult driving down the highway with a plush gorilla, the size of a real live chimp, sitting in the passenger seat? 

Let me go back.  My late wife, Diana, opened a nature store in 1990.  It was a lovely high-end gift store based upon nature and she gave a percentage of all sales to World Wildlife Fund, Sierra Club and other such groups.  Of course she carried a beautiful line of plush animals.  If you could name an animal, she probably had it.  One of her first plush animals was George, the gorilla in the picture.  He didn't come with the t-shirt.  That was a $25 shirt that was a part of a Save the Rainforest project.  I think everyone in the family fell in love with George.  I remember one day when a teenage boy was going to buy George to show off to his girlfriend.  He never came back with the money.  We obviously weren't upset.  After that, we didn't tell people that George wasn't for sale, we just never admitted that he was for sale.  I think Diana would have sold him in a heartbeat, but the rest of us did thing like sit him on a stool behind the counter near the cash register or put him on top of a display cabinet.  As time passed it was just accepted that George went with the store. 

Diana had started the store because she had a heart condition and wanted out of the pressure cooker life of a financial planner and insurance agent. She was finally driven from the nature store business by ever deteriorating health.  When she closed the store I gave George a place in a large wing-backed chair near where I would sit and read at night. By this time our children were married and we had eight grandchildren. Everyone knew George.  

Diana lost her battle with heart disease in 2011.  I had started running.  Many say that I started doing the ultra-marathons (>50 mile races and runs) as a way to deal with my grief.  I started doing these long runs, along with marathons and half-marathons, all across eastern US.  Sometimes it would take me days to get to the race location.  That's pretty lonely, so  George became my travel companion.  He would ride on a booster in the passenger seat.  Boy, did that get looks.  (Footnote:  For four years I did a Disney race called the "Goofy".  It was a 40 mile back-to-back through Disney World.  My one daughter gave me a large plush Goofy who joined George and me whether it was around town or cross-country.)  

Life has been good to me.  What are the chances of going on Match.com and almost immediately meeting someone who shares all the same loves and passions?  Pamela, also a widow, and I became soul-mates and were soon traveling the country, wintering in the desert and working as volunteers for the National Park Service in Glacier National Park from May thru September.  I didn't need George any more. In fact, I almost forgot him.  

Today we were picking up some things in Evansville, IN.   There, in an almost bare bedroom, sat George.  I am a horrible sentimentalist.  I actually felt ashamed that I had ignored the inanimate plush animal that had been my traveling companion and helped me through one of life's hardest times. I couldn't leave him behind again. George didn't get the passenger seat going home.  Pamela is very understanding, but I think that might have been pushing it.  He sat on top of a box looking out the driver-side back window to greet all who would pass.  Just like old times. 

For almost 30 years of my psych practice I was the behavioral director of a special secured geriatric psychiatric unit.  Routinely I would find myself standing toe-to-toe with a State surveyor who wanted to take a plush animal or doll away from one of my patients because it was "not age appropriate".  "Bull hockey", as my Father used to say.  That plush animal or doll was just the comfort and companion that person needed.  The end of life is a hell of a lot harder than the beginning.  I had a giant plush gorilla help me through one of the hardest of human experiences - the death of a spouse. Who has the right to say it is not "age appropriate".   If lying there petting a plush cat gave that person comfort or happiness of any sort, no one was going to take it away from them on my shift. 

At home Pamela gave George a really nice place in the sun room, where we spend most of our time.   I had sat down at my writing desk to consider a blog for today when we notice 'Tilla -  Atilla the Honey, our thirteen year old, blind Yorkie who is dying from cancer. She was lying in George's embrace.  Again George was giving comfort and solace.  

Thanks, George. Love you, buddy.